so tired of socializing.

i've changed
from a girl that loves to talk,
into a girl that wants to hide herself from the big crowd.
and the more i look at things, the more i get exhausted.
it's just not only because of THAT, and also my school work.
im stressed out.
im tired of everything, seriously.
there's some kind of feeling that i want to stab myself
to clam down myself
to keep my mind clear

that was a weird thought.
but who can help me to release it?
i used my own ability, it didn't work; and
i prayed, it didn't work also.

this is defnitely the most stress i ever had in my entire life
every time when i woke up from my nightmare
i always think about the days in hk
life was so relaxed and relieved
which i wont be able to do for the rest of these four years

life could be fun,
but not in this way
i know these are the hard times i have to go through
but where can i express my feelings?
No one, no one listens,
except the little creature that lives deeply in my heart.

where are you, GOD?
you gave me lots of miracles
i know you want me to learn something from this experience

juli told me,
that he's trying to provide us experiences
to let us overcome it
in order to survive in the circumstances we have to face in the future